Blogs > Lifestyle Blog > How to move on after the end of a marriage

How to move on after the end of a marriage

6th November 2019

The end of a marriage can sometimes come with a social stigma. If this is something that is weighing on you, then it is important to know that statistically, you are very much in good company. Just because you put a legal stamp on your relationship doesn’t mean it was any less susceptible to not working out. Moving on can be hard, particularly if you are heartbroken. However, your life will get exponentially better; it’s just about putting yourself in the correct mindset. 

 

Don’t rush into a new long-term relationship 


Regardless of whether your marriage was long-lived or over in a flash, you need time to rebuild your confidence. Jumping back into a relationship will only confirm the insecurity that you need to be part of a duo to succeed. Spend some therapeutic time by yourself and learn how to go solo once more. Rebounds can be fun in the short-term, but it may dawn on you in a few months or years that you were just looking for emotional shelter. 

 

Formalise it legally


It’s likely that you will have had shared assets together and so you will want to ensure that these are split fair and square. This is why you will need a locally-based solicitor to help you divide what is rightfully yours and potentially even split the cost of a house. Finding specific divorce solicitors in Cardiff, for example, would ensure that you are just a stone’s throw away from your legal representative. 

 

Don’t ignore how you feel


If you feel angry, devastated, or anxious, don’t ignore how you feel. More importantly, don’t push down how you feel either. Allow yourself space and time to experience a complex set of emotions, and know that it is part of the process. If you are really struggling, however, there is nothing wrong with booking in to see a councillor or therapist. 

 

Understand the faults 


It might be painful to think of precisely what went wrong, but sometimes, acknowledging that there were specific factors that contributed to the breakup can be oddly comforting. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this outcome – and that is fine. Acknowledging that there were fundamental differences, which you can always learn from, helps shift the blame from either of you. 

 

Talk


Don’t stay at home swimming in your feelings. Getting out and talking to friends and family will provide a crucial line of support during this time. They, too, might be able to give you some answers on how best to start moving on. A night spent with your friends over a glass of wine is far more helpful for your peace of mind than a night spent in worrying about the paperwork. 

 

Recovering from the end of a marriage might not be an easy process. You may find yourself feeling waves of strong, unhelpful emotions, but these will pass over time. Talking to your friends and finding a solicitor who will help the formal side of proceedings will get you towards a calmer state of mind much more quickly. 

Posted by Mark at 6:17am

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