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LISTEN: "We adopted our little boy and the feeling is a completeness"

LISTEN: "We adopted our little boy and the feeling is a completeness"

Published by the Pirate FM News Team at 7:00am 21st October 2018. (Updated at 7:13am 21st October 2018)

An appeal goes out to Cornwall as new figures show the number of children waiting for adoption is rising, because there are not enough adoptive families.

Across the south-west, the number of children waiting for a 'forever family' outnumbers adopters three to one and 93% of those children have suffered from neglect or abuse.

There are around 40 children a year in Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly crying out for a permanent home.

This week is National Adoption Week and the county's adoption agency is urging people to consider it.

The stories of Cornwall's adoptive families

national adoption week
There are around 40 children a year in Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly crying out for a permanent home.

John and Caroline:

John and his wife Caroline already had six kids between them when they adopted their little boy.

"We thought early on that we might not be able to adopt because we already had children.

"In a lot of the training you go to, you do meet couples who don't have any children, we thought in our heads that the fact we already had children might drop us to the back of the queue but we've learnt since then that just isn't true.

"It's about matching the child with your family.

"It's a completeness I suppose, I can't describe it but it’s the best feeling you can get".

"I actually can't think back now to a time when he wasn't here and when you think it's been 15-16 months, you think you'd be able to.

"Our son just follows our daughter around all the time; they took off straight away.

"The second day we took them out and they just weren't apart the whole time so it became very easy for her to introduce him to our whole family.

Both John and Caroline said a lot of what they thought about adoption ended up being inaccurate.

"I'm not going to cover it in cotton wool it can be tough but I think the training you get right from the initial start gets it right in your head of how it’s going to be and even as quite an experienced parent you can see the differences in adoption to natural child birth, you think it would be quite similar but then you realise it's not going to be and that training is given to to you and you take a lot from it. 

"It's like he's always been here now and it's hard to think he wasn't to be fair".

"The adoption agency is round your house quite a bit at one stage but I think all of that process, although it can feel sometimes a bit long and it can be stressful, I think you've got a look at the final outcome and the final outcome is you've got to have the right people adopting children.

"To go through it all can be hard but when you come out the other side it’s such an achievement, when they say yes to you being prospective adopters it's such a happy feeling.

"It's unbelievable, you can put it right up there with having your first child or getting married."

"Without a doubt there's enough support for parents, we went back about a dozen times. You will need to ask for help but it's very easy to do and for me that's a positive.

"I never look back and say 'ooh what happened in the process', I just smile about the fact that we've gone through it and we've got our son at the end of it".

national adoption week
New figures show the number of children waiting for adoption is rising because there just isn't enough adopters.

Stacey and Chelsea:

The adoption agency encourages people from all walks of life to consider adopting.

They say that the most important thing is that you can offer a safe and secure home that is a loving and nurturing environment for a child.

Stacey and Chelsea adopted their daughter and say that they now can't imagine life without her.

"It's just lovely being a family at last".

Stacey said: "I never doubted that a child would be but actually having them here in the flesh is different.

"We just love her so much we can't imagine loving her anymore.

"As a same-sex couple, it’s never a secret that you can't have biological children together and it wasn't important to us to have our children biologically related to either of us and it's what worked for us.

"I think the process is thorough it has to be, when you hear about some of these things that these children have been through you understand why it has to be so thorough.

"We quite enjoyed the process to be honest, we found it quite therapeutic. We got on really well with our assessing social worker and she really got Chelsea and I as a family and portrayed us really well in our reports, we were really pleased with the outcome.

"I think everyone has concerns for something that you don't know anything about but you don't need to worry you can be as honest and upfront with your questions as you'd like".

national adoption week
Adopters can be from all walks of life, almost half the children waiting for a forever home are siblings.

Chelsea says they will definitely consider adopting again in the future, adding "it really is the best feeling ever".

"We had a few concerns; we're a same sex couple, we've got our own business, we've got dogs, we don't own a house so it was all these questions that we had, can we do it? first of all.

"Just go to one of the meetings, ask all the questions because for us it answered all the questions we needed and we got home that evening and filled out the forms and sent them off because we knew it was the right thing to do.

"It wasn't as long as we thought it was going to be because you hear load of myths of how long it's going to take. It isn't easy, it's a long process and there's a lot to it but we quite enjoyed it and you just have to go with it really.

"The agency is willing to help and they really need adopters at the moment and it’s the best thing we've ever done. If anyone's even considering it, ask questions, speak to other people who've done it because it really, really is the best thing we've ever done".

national adoption week
It's National Adoption Week and agencies are urging more people to consider adopting.

Lisa and Max:

Lisa and Max recently adopted two siblings through the Adoption Service and Lisa said while the route to adoption was long and intense, it was worth it.

"There is perhaps a misconception that a bond with an adopted child is not as strong as with birth children - this is not true. 

"The longing and yearning for a family that has been felt by both parents and children ensures a bond and love that is deep and ever growing."

“We know we will never do anything again that will bring us such joy, happiness and unadulterated laughter as adopting our babies has. 

"We would urge anyone to consider adopting as so many children need a loving home, whatever the dynamic and make up of your family, you will undoubtedly have something to offer. 

"It is no cliché to say that adopted children are special.  They will make your house a home and make you a family".

If you are interested in becoming an adoptive parent call 01872 322200 or visit www.adoptincornwall.co.uk

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