Pirate FM News 2 minute read

The Eight Things You Never Want To Hear The Midwife Say...


Published at 1:15pm 1st April 2016.

Giving birth can be a terrifying experience at the best of times, but when your midwife turns around and says something unexpected, things can get interesting...

A forum on Mumsnet has revealed mothers expressing their horror at some of the words spoken by midwives in the heat of the moment.

Take a look below at some of the submissions...

User, Dovahkiin said:

After a fairly horrendous labour, awaiting anaesthetic and stitches for a second-degree tear: "Oh dear, this is probably going to be the worst part."

Fairgroundsnack's midwife said: "Oooh that's strange, looks like it's head's stuck on something, not sure what it could be."

DoNotDenyMe said: Whilst breaking my waters... "I'm so sorry, I have really short fingers"

Hookiewookie29: Me to the midwife: "where's the blood coming from?"

"I don't know"

Nope, not what I want to hear.

Cornishglos said: Me: "Have you read the birth plan. Don't announce the sex."

"Ok. Oh look, she's got the cord wrapped around her neck twice"

Sn0wdr0p4 said: "I'm not going to lie to you, it's a bit of a mess down there"

BeStrongAndCourageous said: "She'll never do it" muttered to her co-worker just as I was about to start pushing.

GetSchwifty said: "No more gas and air for you!"

Thanks for making me feel like a naughty child!

These comments are sure to put anyone off from having children!

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