Cornish lockdown home hacks: Bring the Duchy to your door

5 minute read
Cornish lockdown home hacks: Bring the Duchy to your door

Published at 7:08pm 1st May 2020.

We all know that Cornwall is, without question, the best place in the world to live, with the incredible beaches, breath-taking countryside and top, top people.

But for many of us stuck indoors for a couple of weeks, we may as well be living in Dawlish.

So we’ve put together a few tips and hacks so everyone can continue to enjoy Cornwall from the comfort of home.

(Our very own Johnny Cowling will be recreating these on The Is It Saturday Night Show, every Saturday night at 7pm on Pirate's YouTube and Facebook pages)


PRETEND YOU’RE AT THE EDEN PROJECT

eden project

Head to the bathroom and turn the shower on as hot as it will go.

Once the room is full of steam, suspend some bananas from the shower head, get the family to put on their coats, enter the bathroom and shout ‘ooh look, it’s hot enough to grow bananas’. 


NAVIGATE THE CHIVERTON CROSS ROUNDABOUT

Google Maps

Recreate the drama of Chiverton Cross at peak times with a game of ‘Chivvy Rush’.

Place a chair in the middle of the largest room available.

All but one player then run around the chair as fast as possible.

After waiting for 15 minutes, the remaining player has one chance to complete one lap of the chair without colliding with any other players. 

Please use helmets as the NHS are busy enough.


SURFING

dog surfing

Carry your ironing board around the house for 20 minutes.

Then lay on it for a further 20.

Stand on it for five seconds and then fall off, claiming you’re really getting the hang of this.


KAYAKING

badger kayak

Sit on a bucket in front a smart TV or laptop (or any device with YouTube) and find a point-of-view video of kayaking in Cornwall. Sit on the bucket, start the video and use a kitchen utensil as a paddle (we found a wooden spoon is best) and hey presto, you’re on an exciting Cornish kayaking expedition. 


ROWING A BOAT

rowing

Use the same technique as for kayaking, only sit with your back to the television and use a wooden spoon in each hand. If you only have one wooden spoon available, a spatula will suffice.


BE ROSS POLDARK

Poldark

Draw an unconvincing scar on your cheek with mascara.

Then act like you’re in a bad mood all day but don’t tell your partner why you’re being so shirty.

Send a flirty text to your cousin’s wife.

At sunset, venture into the garden and hack at some plants with a breadknife. 


TURN YOUR GARDEN INTO THE LOST GARDENS OF HELIGAN

lost gardens of heligan

Look out your window at the garden and shout ‘Found it’.

Then cover yourself in pesto and lay in the garden pretending to be a giant, using Lego men to give a sense of scale.


PRETEND YOU LIVE ON ST MICHAEL’S MOUNT

st-michaels-mount-736394_1920

Put a paddling pool outside your front door and fill it with water so you can’t leave your home without getting your feet wet.

After six hours, empty the paddling pool.

Six hours later, fill it back up again.

Repeat.


ACT LIKE THE TAMAR BRIDGE

Tamar Bridge

Prepare one room in your house with plenty of entertainment, beautiful things to look at and the best food you can get your hands on.

Let everyone in for free, but charge them £2 if they leave to go to the toilet.


RECREATE THAT FEELING OF PASSING THOSE TREES ON THAT HILL WHEN YOU COME HOME TO CORNWALL VIA THE A30 

View this post on Instagram

• T I M E 4 S O M E T H I N G N E W • ⁣ ⁣Lockdown can force us to try new things and different approaches.⁣ ⁣Today I’ve once again been raiding the unused archive to find something to work with.⁣ ⁣This shot had a bit of potential, with the way the road markings were pointing towards The Coming Home Trees on the Cornwall/Devon border.⁣ ⁣So it became my guinea pig for a first trial using some new software - Luminar 4 by @skylum_global ⁣ ⁣And it’s massively impressive.⁣ ⁣From the initial edit in @lightroom which was okay, I was about to put it into @photoshop but glad I instead tried something new.⁣ ⁣Cue the debates on originality and photography vs art … but that’s for those that cares about such principles. ⁣ ⁣For me, it got me excited about working on my photos that didn’t initially make the cut and gave me something to want to share on a Sunday when we can’t get to these beautiful locations.⁣ ⁣And that’s what matters most.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣📷 @sonyalpha A7SII, 70mm, f/5.6, ISO 100, 1/100⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣🌍 Cookworthy Knapp, UK.⁣⁣⁣⁠⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣.⁣⁠⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣.⁣⁠⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣.⁣⁠⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣.⁣⁠⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣.⁣⁠⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣#lesserknowntalents #your_trees #cornwall #walkingcornwall #kernow #igerscornwall #ukpotd #explorecornwall #walkcornwall #visitcornwall #yourbritain #genuinebritain #mytelegraph #watchcornwall #places_wow #agameoftones #photooftheday #devon #cominghometrees #visitdevon #trees #treesofinstagram #treestreestrees #luminar4 #luminar #roads #sunsetphotography #goldenhour #sunset_ig #sunsetsofinstagram

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Ask someone in the household to spike their hair and stand on a chair.

Using a dinner plate as a steering wheel, shuffle past them in formation and cheer as though you’ve been in a car for three hours.


EXPERIENCE A COUNTRY LANE IMPASSE

car stuck down lane

Everyone walk around the house until two people meet face to face in a hallway or corridor.

Be rude about each other without making a noise until one of you loses patience and walks away backwards.

Whoever leaves first is the better driver.


BE AN OCCASIONAL CAMPER

camping tent

This is an easy one if you own a tent and have space in the garden in which to put it up.

However, for a more realistic occasional camping experience, fast all afternoon so you’re all extra hangry and put the tent up in the dark.

The person who knows least about putting up the tent MUST be in charge of putting up the tent and ignore any of the supplied instructions.

 

CREATE A MINI ROYAL CORNWALL SHOW

royal cornwall show

Judge which of your pets is the best and give them a rosette.

If you don’t have any pets, use cuddly toys or cushions.

Outline an arena with shoes and take it in turns to enter the arena and perform the most spectacular thing you can.

Walk around the house with a bag collecting pens, rubbers and pencils.

Put on a blindfold, spin around three times and try to find your car. 

 

And a bonus one because, well, we all have to fill a lot of time...


HOLD YOUR OWN VINTAGE RALLY

Find all the things in the house that make steam, paint them green and turn them on.

If you have an old car, print out a random number and stick it to the inside of the window.

Walk around the car.

Then return to the steam things and turn them on again.

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